I have lost friends and family members but nothing prepared me for the loss I experienced after my miscarriage. Many people feel lost and confused and unsure of what to do after a loss and I know that was the truth for me. For weeks after I cried and cried and prayed for God to show me what to do. But, How do you move on? How can you just pretend like nothing ever happen? How can I love myself when my body failed me? No matter how many times family, friends, nurses and doctors told me that it wasn’t my fault, that I did nothing wrong. I blamed myself.
It has 4 months since the miscarriage and not a day goes by that I don’t think about what happened. A week and half after my miscarriage I had the courage to go back to work. Which I believe was truly a remarkable test within it self. The days after the loss I wasn’t sure if returning to work was the right choice, I work with children and I really prayed that it wouldn’t be difficult to carry everyday and not be constantly reminded of what couldn’t be. However I found that being around “my children” was one of the best things I could’ve done. Remembering my baby everyday but being able to move on as time goes on has become easier and reading day by day on how to move on for me is key. Listening to others stories and knowing that I am not the only one out there who has gone through what I have. I know deep down inside that I will have a baby of my own but it does not take away from the hurt I felt. Everyday I remember my angel that was never born but my angel you will always be. I know my journey isn’t over and anyone who is reading this who has gone through this please know you aren’t alone!